Dr. Glass’s voice is a soothing balm, but for Lily it grates, like someone brushing her hair in the wrong direction. She doesn’t think that she of all people in this situation deserves to be stuck in anger management. She isn’t the one who cheated. She isn’t the one who gaslit her for months, claiming that she was imagining things.
“The honorable judge Henry R. Wallace.”
The therapist looks amused. “Why don’t we start from the beginning? How did you wind up in Judge Wallace’s courtroom in the first place?”
Lily’s almost certain it’s in her file, but she takes a deep breath and nods. Fine. She can explain it one more time.
* * * * *
Lily puts off the conversation with Julian until she returns home. She strides into what used to be their home, and now she doesn’t know how she feels. Julian isn’t here—his car isn’t in the driveway. But there is someone in their house. Someone not their dog.
She drops her keys down into the bowl near the door, and the sound brings the person in question. A blond woman with a bright smile. “Hi,” she begins. “You must be Lily.”
Lily’s heart pounds in her ears as she connects the dots on who this person must be. She’s here? What is she doing here? “And you are?”
“Mellie.” She holds up her hands. “I know how this looks, but I wanted to talk to you…”
“If you are who I think you are, you need to get out of my house.”
“But—”
“Mellie, I do not know what you want to tell me, and I don’t care. Right now, I just need you to leave before this goes a way we don’t want to.” Because she’s had enough time to think about it, she doesn’t want to release her anger in the wrong place. She also doesn’t understand this woman’s need to be here. Read the damn room.
“Are you—”
“Don’t push me.”
“Right. Okay. I’ll…another time.”
Mellie dashes out past her, closing the door behind her and leaving Lily alone in the house. She stares at the walls, at the art and sculptures scattered across the walls and tables, the fancy TVs, all the little pieces of décor and love that she’s put into the house over the years, and her eyes land on one vase that his mother bought them. The one that she insists be put in a prominent place, as a show of their love for her.
Lily hates that fucking vase.
Before she realizes what’s happening, her feet are carrying her across the floor. She picks up the vase, raises it over her head and smashes it to the ground. Everything about this day has felt so shitty, but that feels good, and suddenly she’s like an unleashed beast, craving more. She charges through the house smashing the art, breaking picture frames. All of their wedding china winds up smashing on the floor. Every piece of god-awful décor her mother-in-law forced on them is in pieces on the floor.
And by the time Julian arrives back at the house, the place is a mess and she has a plate in her hand.
“Lily. What the hell did you do?”
* * * * *
“And what did you do?”
Lily sighs, taking a deep breath. “I threw the plate at his head.”
“And you don’t think that was excessive?”
“He ducked.”
“That wasn’t the question, Lily.”
Lily crosses one leg over the other. Was it excessive? Maybe. Does she feel bad about it? No, not really. No harm done to any actual human people, just hurt feelings and broken glass. The broken glass can be replaced and if Julian and Jeannine didn’t want their feelings hurt, maybe they shouldn’t have lied to her for six months.
“I think when you’ve been told for six months that your husband isn’t cheating on you when he actually is, and that you’re crazy and making up evidence where there is none, you’re likely to snap when you find out the truth.”
“I see.” Dr. Glass looks at her watch. “Well, we’re out of time. But I’d like to pick this up again next week.”
“Fine.” Lily reaches for her purse and gets to her feet, but before she can reach the door, Dr. Glass speaks up again.
“Oh, and Lily? You aren’t crazy. And your anger isn’t wrong.”
“But?” There’s always a “but.”
“But I think there are healthier coping mechanisms. That’s all I want to explore here.”
Lily nods. In some ways, it’s good to feel validated. But she thinks that if they’re looking for healthy coping mechanisms, they’re going to have a long way to go.
#178 ~ but your apathy is like a wound in salt ~ original ~ 798
Dr. Glass’s voice is a soothing balm, but for Lily it grates, like someone brushing her hair in the wrong direction. She doesn’t think that she of all people in this situation deserves to be stuck in anger management. She isn’t the one who cheated. She isn’t the one who gaslit her for months, claiming that she was imagining things.
“The honorable judge Henry R. Wallace.”
The therapist looks amused. “Why don’t we start from the beginning? How did you wind up in Judge Wallace’s courtroom in the first place?”
Lily’s almost certain it’s in her file, but she takes a deep breath and nods. Fine. She can explain it one more time.
Lily puts off the conversation with Julian until she returns home. She strides into what used to be their home, and now she doesn’t know how she feels. Julian isn’t here—his car isn’t in the driveway. But there is someone in their house. Someone not their dog.
She drops her keys down into the bowl near the door, and the sound brings the person in question. A blond woman with a bright smile. “Hi,” she begins. “You must be Lily.”
Lily’s heart pounds in her ears as she connects the dots on who this person must be. She’s here? What is she doing here? “And you are?”
“Mellie.” She holds up her hands. “I know how this looks, but I wanted to talk to you…”
“If you are who I think you are, you need to get out of my house.”
“But—”
“Mellie, I do not know what you want to tell me, and I don’t care. Right now, I just need you to leave before this goes a way we don’t want to.” Because she’s had enough time to think about it, she doesn’t want to release her anger in the wrong place. She also doesn’t understand this woman’s need to be here. Read the damn room.
“Are you—”
“Don’t push me.”
“Right. Okay. I’ll…another time.”
Mellie dashes out past her, closing the door behind her and leaving Lily alone in the house. She stares at the walls, at the art and sculptures scattered across the walls and tables, the fancy TVs, all the little pieces of décor and love that she’s put into the house over the years, and her eyes land on one vase that his mother bought them. The one that she insists be put in a prominent place, as a show of their love for her.
Lily hates that fucking vase.
Before she realizes what’s happening, her feet are carrying her across the floor. She picks up the vase, raises it over her head and smashes it to the ground. Everything about this day has felt so shitty, but that feels good, and suddenly she’s like an unleashed beast, craving more. She charges through the house smashing the art, breaking picture frames. All of their wedding china winds up smashing on the floor. Every piece of god-awful décor her mother-in-law forced on them is in pieces on the floor.
And by the time Julian arrives back at the house, the place is a mess and she has a plate in her hand.
“Lily. What the hell did you do?”
“And what did you do?”
Lily sighs, taking a deep breath. “I threw the plate at his head.”
“And you don’t think that was excessive?”
“He ducked.”
“That wasn’t the question, Lily.”
Lily crosses one leg over the other. Was it excessive? Maybe. Does she feel bad about it? No, not really. No harm done to any actual human people, just hurt feelings and broken glass. The broken glass can be replaced and if Julian and Jeannine didn’t want their feelings hurt, maybe they shouldn’t have lied to her for six months.
“I think when you’ve been told for six months that your husband isn’t cheating on you when he actually is, and that you’re crazy and making up evidence where there is none, you’re likely to snap when you find out the truth.”
“I see.” Dr. Glass looks at her watch. “Well, we’re out of time. But I’d like to pick this up again next week.”
“Fine.” Lily reaches for her purse and gets to her feet, but before she can reach the door, Dr. Glass speaks up again.
“Oh, and Lily? You aren’t crazy. And your anger isn’t wrong.”
“But?” There’s always a “but.”
“But I think there are healthier coping mechanisms. That’s all I want to explore here.”
Lily nods. In some ways, it’s good to feel validated. But she thinks that if they’re looking for healthy coping mechanisms, they’re going to have a long way to go.