Emily (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2006-08-31 01:26 am
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2006-08-31 01:26 am
Danny - For Blood
Fandom: CSI:NY
Title: For Blood
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
iluvroadrunner6
Rating: FRT
Character: Danny Messer
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
alphabetasoup Prompt: A is for Ares
Content Warning: Spoilers (kind of) for "Run Silent, Run Deep"
Summary: There was nothing he wanted more right now. No stronger drive, no bigger purpose he had than the need to feel Sonny Sassone’s blood on his hands.
Author's Note: First in "Stuff of Legends" series. And this is my interpretation of Danny, so don't sue if you don't like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS.
“But to assist the coming madness of man, his brutality, and his bloodthirst, came Ares, so that also wretches who delight in murder would not be altogether without consolation. For even coward deeds may seem feats of bravery thanks to this god. But he reminds men of nothing as he incites them to run riot, kill, burn, and rape, but submerges them in mud and blood, making them forget the beauties of heaven and earth. This misery is one of the many forms of oblivion.”
- Ares, Greek Mythology Link
He never expected to feel it this strongly.
He saw murder and mayhem everyday at work, he talked down men and women who had killed over much worse every day, and he had begun to think he was immune. He would never react the way those people did. He had more self control. He had more self restraint. He could handle it.
Oh, fuck, who was he kidding.
There was nothing he wanted more right now. No stronger drive, no bigger purpose he had than the need to feel Sonny Sassone’s blood on his hands. To hell with the law, to hell with his conscience, sense of right and wrong, this was his brother. This was his flesh and blood. He had kept him on the straight and narrow. He had saved his life that night, and he wasn’t even sure that Louie really knew what he had done for him.
Mac really didn’t understand him as well as he thought he did. Danny had never been smart, and kept his head above all that. He was just a kid. He was a kid who saw what the Tanglewood Boys had to offer. And true, they scared the shit out of him, but who couldn’t see the appeal of being able to live above the law. The walk into a room, and not only be seen but feared? And that night, he was testing it. He was seeing if maybe this was a way in for him. If this was his calling, his life. After all, it was good enough for Louie.
If it’s good enough for his big brother, why the hell not?
But Louie, Louie didn’t want him there. Danny must have known it on some level, but he refused to admit it. It was just Louie being a brother. Louie didn’t want his kid brother hanging around with his friends. He didn’t really hear the words Louie had told him until years later, when he realized how different things could have been if he had just listened with older ears.
“C’mon D, you don’t want to hang out with them. You’re smarter than that.”
“Louie, please, they invited me. We’re just going down to AC.”
“You can do so much better than them D. Why don’t you just stay home, play with your own friends?”
Louie was trying to protect him all along, and he just wouldn’t listen. Louie had to do what was best for his brother, even if he had to sacrifice all those years they had lost in between. If Louie hadn’t done what he’d done, Danny didn’t know where he’d be. Or who for that matter.
As he looked in that mirror, he could see a glimpse of that person inside himself. He could see the anger, the rage, the pure and simple blood lust building up behind his eyes, glaring back at him, telling him to take action, take advantage. He knew exactly where Sassone was. He knew how to get in, he could convince the guard to leave them alone, and it would be done. Could make it look good, say Sonny attacked him, he was defending himself. And it would be done. This unending pressure, this need, would be gone, and he wouldn’t feel like he couldn’t do anything for Louie, despite all that Louie had done for him. He could do it, and Sonny would never hurt him, or his family, or anyone else again, but the minute he started to even entertain these thoughts, Louie’s voice in the back of his head, echoing stronger than the cop voice, stronger than the good angel sitting on his shoulder, somehow reaching him over all the pain and anger and regret:
“You’re smart, D. You can go places with that brain.”
Yeah, but if Louie hadn’t been there to push him. He didn’t know where he’d be. Or maybe he did.
There would have been more of him in Giants Stadium that night than a half-used cigarette. He wouldn’t be in the lab. He’d be out in the street, doing coke and screwing girls, and beating up poor kids who were only searching for a place to belong. He wouldn’t be feeling like this because he’d know what to do and he would have done it already. Sonny’s body would be lying somewhere, and he would be the one with the high-priced lawyers and screwing with Mac Taylor, and he would be above it all. He would be free from all of this guilt and anger, and he would feel free.
Or even more trapped. All it takes is once.
Title: For Blood
Author:
iluvroadrunner6Rating: FRT
Character: Danny Messer
alphabetasoup Prompt: A is for AresContent Warning: Spoilers (kind of) for "Run Silent, Run Deep"
Summary: There was nothing he wanted more right now. No stronger drive, no bigger purpose he had than the need to feel Sonny Sassone’s blood on his hands.
Author's Note: First in "Stuff of Legends" series. And this is my interpretation of Danny, so don't sue if you don't like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS.
“But to assist the coming madness of man, his brutality, and his bloodthirst, came Ares, so that also wretches who delight in murder would not be altogether without consolation. For even coward deeds may seem feats of bravery thanks to this god. But he reminds men of nothing as he incites them to run riot, kill, burn, and rape, but submerges them in mud and blood, making them forget the beauties of heaven and earth. This misery is one of the many forms of oblivion.”
- Ares, Greek Mythology Link
He never expected to feel it this strongly.
He saw murder and mayhem everyday at work, he talked down men and women who had killed over much worse every day, and he had begun to think he was immune. He would never react the way those people did. He had more self control. He had more self restraint. He could handle it.
Oh, fuck, who was he kidding.
There was nothing he wanted more right now. No stronger drive, no bigger purpose he had than the need to feel Sonny Sassone’s blood on his hands. To hell with the law, to hell with his conscience, sense of right and wrong, this was his brother. This was his flesh and blood. He had kept him on the straight and narrow. He had saved his life that night, and he wasn’t even sure that Louie really knew what he had done for him.
Mac really didn’t understand him as well as he thought he did. Danny had never been smart, and kept his head above all that. He was just a kid. He was a kid who saw what the Tanglewood Boys had to offer. And true, they scared the shit out of him, but who couldn’t see the appeal of being able to live above the law. The walk into a room, and not only be seen but feared? And that night, he was testing it. He was seeing if maybe this was a way in for him. If this was his calling, his life. After all, it was good enough for Louie.
If it’s good enough for his big brother, why the hell not?
But Louie, Louie didn’t want him there. Danny must have known it on some level, but he refused to admit it. It was just Louie being a brother. Louie didn’t want his kid brother hanging around with his friends. He didn’t really hear the words Louie had told him until years later, when he realized how different things could have been if he had just listened with older ears.
“C’mon D, you don’t want to hang out with them. You’re smarter than that.”
“Louie, please, they invited me. We’re just going down to AC.”
“You can do so much better than them D. Why don’t you just stay home, play with your own friends?”
Louie was trying to protect him all along, and he just wouldn’t listen. Louie had to do what was best for his brother, even if he had to sacrifice all those years they had lost in between. If Louie hadn’t done what he’d done, Danny didn’t know where he’d be. Or who for that matter.
As he looked in that mirror, he could see a glimpse of that person inside himself. He could see the anger, the rage, the pure and simple blood lust building up behind his eyes, glaring back at him, telling him to take action, take advantage. He knew exactly where Sassone was. He knew how to get in, he could convince the guard to leave them alone, and it would be done. Could make it look good, say Sonny attacked him, he was defending himself. And it would be done. This unending pressure, this need, would be gone, and he wouldn’t feel like he couldn’t do anything for Louie, despite all that Louie had done for him. He could do it, and Sonny would never hurt him, or his family, or anyone else again, but the minute he started to even entertain these thoughts, Louie’s voice in the back of his head, echoing stronger than the cop voice, stronger than the good angel sitting on his shoulder, somehow reaching him over all the pain and anger and regret:
“You’re smart, D. You can go places with that brain.”
Yeah, but if Louie hadn’t been there to push him. He didn’t know where he’d be. Or maybe he did.
There would have been more of him in Giants Stadium that night than a half-used cigarette. He wouldn’t be in the lab. He’d be out in the street, doing coke and screwing girls, and beating up poor kids who were only searching for a place to belong. He wouldn’t be feeling like this because he’d know what to do and he would have done it already. Sonny’s body would be lying somewhere, and he would be the one with the high-priced lawyers and screwing with Mac Taylor, and he would be above it all. He would be free from all of this guilt and anger, and he would feel free.
Or even more trapped. All it takes is once.
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i'm glad you liked it!
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...i think i've got a fun hammerback one coming up next though.
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So, I read that part and my AD/HD literally spun out of control. So I have a 7 handwritten, although somewhat incoherent, pages of story based on this. My question, or rather what I'm begging, is that in case I manage to get something useable out of it, and I'll give you full credit for the idea, if I could possibly post it...pretty please?
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ooo...i'm a muse...*is giggly*