Emily (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2006-11-27 07:47 pm
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2006-11-27 07:47 pm
Flack/Lindsay - Looking for an Out
Fandom: CSI:NY
Title: Looking for an Out
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
iluvroadrunner6
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Don Flack/Lindsay Monroe
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
ficalbum Prompt: "Intermission" - Scissor Sisters
Content Warning: N/A
Summary: There wasn’t a perfect way for this to end, but he wanted to do this as nicely as possible.
Author's Note: Switching over from myfivebyfiction claim to my ficalbum claim, they're going to be in the same series, but the song lyrics are coming from a completely different source.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS.
You want to tell someone the way that you feel
But then you ain't got nothing to say
You fight for freedom from devotion
A battle that will always begin
With somebody giving you a piece of advice;
By the way you're living in sin
- “Intermission” – Scissor Sisters
This was not what he had in mind when he asked Lindsay to have dinner with him so they could catch up. It really wasn’t. He had actually intended on having dinner. Which they did. And then he offered to take her back to her hotel, just like a good guy should. He probably shouldn’t have walked her to the door. That wasn’t the smartest idea on his part, but what was he going to do? Just sit in the car and watch as she walked up to the hotel. His mother had raised him better than that.
Although, his mother didn’t raise him to have what would most likely be a one night stand with an ex-girlfriend who was going back to Montana at the end of the week either. That wouldn’t have been something she’d be that fond of.
But he couldn’t help himself. Seeing her there, idling at the door, had him flashing back to the first time he took her home after they had had dinner together, and he couldn’t help himself. He wanted that moment back. They hadn’t slept together on that first date; Lindsay wasn’t that kind of girl. But he did kiss her, and it was one of the best feelings he’d had in a long time. He wanted to feel that way again. So he kissed her this time, too. This time, though, they didn’t stop.
Yes, he knew this was only going to make things worse when she left. Yes, he knew that this was only going to cause him to hold on to this longer and keep him from moving on. Yes, he knew this was not the best idea.
But, God, it felt good.
Now, however, he was very much screwed. He lay in her bed, staring at her back trying to figure out a way to exit gracefully and not turn this into a big deal. There wasn’t a perfect way for this to end, but he wanted to do this as nicely as possible. Actually, he didn’t want to do it at all, but if he had to, he wanted to do it as nicely as possible.
He brushed a kiss against her shoulder, and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, but she cut him off before he could speak.
“Don’t leave.”
“Linds—” he frowned, knowing this was only going to make things worse in the long run.
“Don, please,” she whispered, “I don’t want to pretend this didn’t happen quite yet.” He yielded, and she felt his body relax back into the bed before she rolled over and buried her head in his shoulder. She wanted to be here, not out there. She knew that and he knew that. But they also knew that she was still going to be on that plane back out to Montana at the end of this, and he still wasn’t quite sure on why.
“I want you to stay, Linds,” he whispered.
“I want to stay too,” she sighed, “I just wish it was that simple.”
“Simple seems to not be something we can hold on to, huh?” he murmured, and he felt her smile against his shoulder.
“I really missed this,” she murmured, “Just being alone with you.”
“I missed it too,” he sighed. He wanted to tell her that even now he was still waking up and expecting her to be there, or that there were times when he had be seriously tempted to get on a place and fly out there, and drag her home. Back to New York where she belonged.
And that was where he had to stop himself. Because who knew where she really belonged. New York was where he wanted her to belong, but who said that was what fate had intended. Maybe she belonged in Montana. Hell, maybe she belonged somewhere that wasn’t Montana and wasn’t New York, but he wasn’t going to give up hoping that New York was where she was supposed to be. But he wasn’t going to say anything about that either because he didn’t want to jinx it. And he didn’t want to make it harder for her to leave. Things were hard enough as they were.
So he was just going to lay here with her, pray for the best, and hope that this wasn’t going to hurt as much as he knew it was going to.
“I know this is only going to make things harder—” He was ready to cut her off, ask her not to say it, but he didn’t. Partially because he wanted to hear it, and partially because he wasn’t sure of what she was going to say anyway. Might not make things harder at all. She could be overanalyzing this, and it could be—
“—but the main reason I decided to come out here was to see you.”
He closed his eyes, processed it, and tried to make it go away so that he wouldn’t remember it in the morning, but he wasn’t going to deny the way it made his pulse quicken when she said it. There was something in the idea that she wanted to be here with him that made him feel like King Kong on cocaine. She wanted this as much as he did, but he couldn’t stop the words that he said next, even though they completely killed the high he was on.
“But you won’t stay.”
He knew that he probably could have chosen his words a little better, but there was the moment killer right there. There was the out that he had been looking for, and he could see it looking in her eyes that he had hit home. Saw it clearly in the way she looked at him, that he should get up and go.
“Linds?” he asked, and she pulled away from him.
“I think I’m ready to pretend.”
He didn’t say anything to her after that, he couldn’t even remember if he said goodbye. But he did remember very loudly and very violently cursing himself out when he finally arrived at his car.
Title: Looking for an Out
Author:
iluvroadrunner6Rating: FRT
Pairing: Don Flack/Lindsay Monroe
ficalbum Prompt: "Intermission" - Scissor SistersContent Warning: N/A
Summary: There wasn’t a perfect way for this to end, but he wanted to do this as nicely as possible.
Author's Note: Switching over from my
fivebyfiction claim to my ficalbum claim, they're going to be in the same series, but the song lyrics are coming from a completely different source. Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS.
You want to tell someone the way that you feel
But then you ain't got nothing to say
You fight for freedom from devotion
A battle that will always begin
With somebody giving you a piece of advice;
By the way you're living in sin
- “Intermission” – Scissor Sisters
This was not what he had in mind when he asked Lindsay to have dinner with him so they could catch up. It really wasn’t. He had actually intended on having dinner. Which they did. And then he offered to take her back to her hotel, just like a good guy should. He probably shouldn’t have walked her to the door. That wasn’t the smartest idea on his part, but what was he going to do? Just sit in the car and watch as she walked up to the hotel. His mother had raised him better than that.
Although, his mother didn’t raise him to have what would most likely be a one night stand with an ex-girlfriend who was going back to Montana at the end of the week either. That wouldn’t have been something she’d be that fond of.
But he couldn’t help himself. Seeing her there, idling at the door, had him flashing back to the first time he took her home after they had had dinner together, and he couldn’t help himself. He wanted that moment back. They hadn’t slept together on that first date; Lindsay wasn’t that kind of girl. But he did kiss her, and it was one of the best feelings he’d had in a long time. He wanted to feel that way again. So he kissed her this time, too. This time, though, they didn’t stop.
Yes, he knew this was only going to make things worse when she left. Yes, he knew that this was only going to cause him to hold on to this longer and keep him from moving on. Yes, he knew this was not the best idea.
But, God, it felt good.
Now, however, he was very much screwed. He lay in her bed, staring at her back trying to figure out a way to exit gracefully and not turn this into a big deal. There wasn’t a perfect way for this to end, but he wanted to do this as nicely as possible. Actually, he didn’t want to do it at all, but if he had to, he wanted to do it as nicely as possible.
He brushed a kiss against her shoulder, and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, but she cut him off before he could speak.
“Don’t leave.”
“Linds—” he frowned, knowing this was only going to make things worse in the long run.
“Don, please,” she whispered, “I don’t want to pretend this didn’t happen quite yet.” He yielded, and she felt his body relax back into the bed before she rolled over and buried her head in his shoulder. She wanted to be here, not out there. She knew that and he knew that. But they also knew that she was still going to be on that plane back out to Montana at the end of this, and he still wasn’t quite sure on why.
“I want you to stay, Linds,” he whispered.
“I want to stay too,” she sighed, “I just wish it was that simple.”
“Simple seems to not be something we can hold on to, huh?” he murmured, and he felt her smile against his shoulder.
“I really missed this,” she murmured, “Just being alone with you.”
“I missed it too,” he sighed. He wanted to tell her that even now he was still waking up and expecting her to be there, or that there were times when he had be seriously tempted to get on a place and fly out there, and drag her home. Back to New York where she belonged.
And that was where he had to stop himself. Because who knew where she really belonged. New York was where he wanted her to belong, but who said that was what fate had intended. Maybe she belonged in Montana. Hell, maybe she belonged somewhere that wasn’t Montana and wasn’t New York, but he wasn’t going to give up hoping that New York was where she was supposed to be. But he wasn’t going to say anything about that either because he didn’t want to jinx it. And he didn’t want to make it harder for her to leave. Things were hard enough as they were.
So he was just going to lay here with her, pray for the best, and hope that this wasn’t going to hurt as much as he knew it was going to.
“I know this is only going to make things harder—” He was ready to cut her off, ask her not to say it, but he didn’t. Partially because he wanted to hear it, and partially because he wasn’t sure of what she was going to say anyway. Might not make things harder at all. She could be overanalyzing this, and it could be—
“—but the main reason I decided to come out here was to see you.”
He closed his eyes, processed it, and tried to make it go away so that he wouldn’t remember it in the morning, but he wasn’t going to deny the way it made his pulse quicken when she said it. There was something in the idea that she wanted to be here with him that made him feel like King Kong on cocaine. She wanted this as much as he did, but he couldn’t stop the words that he said next, even though they completely killed the high he was on.
“But you won’t stay.”
He knew that he probably could have chosen his words a little better, but there was the moment killer right there. There was the out that he had been looking for, and he could see it looking in her eyes that he had hit home. Saw it clearly in the way she looked at him, that he should get up and go.
“Linds?” he asked, and she pulled away from him.
“I think I’m ready to pretend.”
He didn’t say anything to her after that, he couldn’t even remember if he said goodbye. But he did remember very loudly and very violently cursing himself out when he finally arrived at his car.
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I so want to slap Lindsay. I want to hurt her. And I like her for the most part in this series.
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but lindsay...yeah, being lindsay was not fun in this one.
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(That about sums it up, but I still loved this)
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but still. Come on. It's Don!
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...which is totally not my fault *looks innocent*
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:S :S :S
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i'll have to be very persuasive.
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i like DL, but i like FM better. i'm glad you like these though.
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i'm glad you liked it.
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FM however, just has this undercurrent of angst, probably because of the whole issue with DL, and then she was at the bombing, and all that. so they're just angsty to begin with.
Re: Damn!!!
i hope.
i'm glad you liked it though.