iluvroadrunner6: (lindsay)
Emily ([personal profile] iluvroadrunner6) wrote2006-11-02 05:36 pm

Flack/Lindsay - Crossing a Line

note: i usually don't care for/write (unless well done) flack/lindsay angst where danny is pretty much the center of it. but i was reading over the other fics in this, and i noticed how entirely cold i had written things between danny and flack. hence, this fic.

Fandom: CSI:NY
Title: Crossing a Line
Author: [livejournal.com profile] iluvroadrunner6
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Don Flack/Lindsay Monroe
[livejournal.com profile] fivebyfiction Prompt: Hearts
[livejournal.com profile] 15pairings Prompt: resentment
Content Warning: N/A
Summary: Even the ones who know you best cross the worst lines.
Author's Note: Danny is a bit of a asshole not nice person in this. I'm sorry if any Danny fans are offended, but the season1!Danny decided he wanted to come out and pitch a fit. Also the lyrics are meant to fit Danny on Lindsay, not Lindsay on Danny/Don or Danny on Don. However, in the show, the part is sung by a woman to a man, therefore, the gender doesn't excatly fit. I, though, do not care.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS.



He was never mine to lose
Why regret what cannot be?
These are words he’ll never say
Not to me, not for me

- “A Heart Full of Love” from Les Misérables

He didn’t know why he waited until the point that he did to say something, or why he even waited at all, but he did, and now, he couldn’t take it back. Flack had been right in almost everything he had said in the conversation so far, that Danny had pushed him to Lindsay, and that Danny was the one who had gotten the ball rolling on this one, but that hadn’t mattered. Danny and Lindsay, that was the way things were supposed to be in Danny’s mind at the time. Not Don and Lindsay. Never Don and Lindsay.

Later, after everything had blown over, Danny felt like shit about saying some of the things he said in return, because he knew Flack didn’t deserve it, but he had never been good with saying the right thing in the heat of the moment. When he was being attacked, or felt like he was being attacked, he threw back whatever he knew would hurt the worst, and the fact that he knew Flack pretty damn well was an asset in that department.

But it wasn’t the words that were said that day that made the moment completely unforgettable, it was the look on his friend’s face when he said the things he did. It was that haunting moment when they turned from heartache mixed with anger, to hard anger. That was when Danny knew that he had taken a step too far over that line, and that was when Flack stopped holding back and gave him everything he had.

“You snide, selfish, sonovabitch. You fuckin tell me to go out with her, practically push me into fuckin bed with her, and now you just expect me to give her up because it’s what you want? You want to screw her, so now I’m just supposed to step aside and let you have her? Pretend that she doesn’t mean shit to me? How the hell is that fuckin fair, Danny? Who do you fuckin think she is, anyway, some kind of office slut that just gets passed to the next person when they decide that they’re ready to handle that relationship? That’s not the way it works, Messer. Lindsay’s a person. She’s a human being with a heart, and a soul. You don’t just give her to someone to take care of like a damn plant until you know that you’re ready for the responsibility, and then expect that person to just give her back. Let alone have her want to go back. That isn’t the way things work.”

To say Flack was pissed would be the understatement of century. Danny had seen Flack like this before, but this was the first time it was actually pointed in his direction. It was that fact alone that stunned him into silence. Flack wasn’t yelling, he wasn’t loud about it, but the poison in his voice scared the shit out of Danny. He wasn’t about to say anything because he didn’t want to make things worse. He just let Flack continue, and give him everything he had because Danny knew this had been a long time coming, and he deserved it.

“You know what? I’m sick of this. I’m sick of being your fuckin wingman, I’m sick of going in to save your ass, I’m sick of you always dumping on me, and then running out the Goddamn door when it comes down to me needing you. I’m fucking done. I—I can’t do this anymore, Dan. She’s not your girl. She’s mine. I’m not fucking around anymore.”

He just stared at him for a second, and Danny could not only see how deadly serious Flack was, but also how much this was hurting him to do it.

“As far as I’m concerned, we’re done.”

Danny had known he was crossing a line when he decided that he had been misdirected and confused, and that the woman he really wanted to be with was Lindsay. He knew that but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He had developed this arrogance of the situation, some kind of fantastical delusion that Lindsay was only biding her time with Flack until Danny decided that he was ready, the idea that Flack would understand because after all, this was his best friend, and he had to see that he and Lindsay were supposed to happen. Naturally, he wasn’t going to keep his mouth shut. He was bound to say something to someone, and the idea that the one he’d tell shouldn’t be Lindsay never really occurred him. When she recoiled from him with such a look of shock, the idea that she might just tell Flack and he might just be pissed didn’t really occur to him either.

He saw them later, in the locker room. He had heard Flack doing what sounded like beating the shit out of the lockers earlier, before Lindsay had gone in and tried to talk to him. The two of them were sitting against the lockers, and Danny could see the bruises on his former friend’s knuckles from where he was standing, and could just hear what they were saying.

“—He’s my best friend, Linds. Of all the fuckin things he could do to me.”

“I know. But you know how Danny is. He doesn’t always—think before he speaks.”

“He’s one of the smartest idiots I know. But he’s still my best friend. Doesn’t change the fact that this still hurts. The idea that he had the fuckin nerve—”


He had watched as she leaned over and rested her head against his shoulder. How she slipped her hand into his. The love that was in her eyes when she looked at him. That wasn’t the way she looked at Danny and he knew it. He saw things he hadn’t seen before, couldn’t have seen before, unless he had just chosen to ignore them. There was something more than just casual between them, and now he felt like shit for even beginning to put his friend in that position.

“Did you really think Danny saying something was going to—”

“No. It’s just—damnit. The fact that he could. The fact that he has that kind of power to—I can’t lose you Lindsay. Not now. Not where we are.”

“Who said I was going anywhere?”


Danny knew he had lost her a long time ago. Not that she was ever ‘his’ to lose in the first place, but he really knew that he and Lindsay wasn’t going to happen, and was never ‘meant’ to happen to begin with. And he knew it was going to take a helluva lot to get him and Flack back to where they used to be. But Danny knew that he had to find some way to fix this.

Which is why almost exactly a year later, when Lindsay was unpacking boxes in her new apartment in Montana, and Flack’s sitting at his desk, staring at a picture of the two of them, Danny tentatively approaches the man, trying to find the right words to say before he just opens his mouth and makes the situation even worse than it already was, kind of like he had done this morning.

“If you’re here to make more of those damn comments, I swear to God, Messer—” Flack began, and Danny shook his head.

“Nah, nah,” Danny replied, sticking his hands into his pockets in an attempt to make himself seem more comfortable than he already was. “Just wanted to know if you wanted to grab a beer. You look like you could use one.”

Flack studied him for a second, before nodding. “Thanks, Danny.”

“Don’t mention it,” Danny said softly, giving his friend a nod, “It’s the least I could do.”

[identity profile] shadow-diva.livejournal.com 2006-11-02 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
That was great, hun! Loved it! The dialogue felt perfect and I love the way you worked it all out. :) Awesome job! :D

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2006-11-02 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
thanks. this one...i love the way it turned out, but it's still not my favorite piece. it's just one that had to be done.

[identity profile] park-ave-pirate.livejournal.com 2006-11-02 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Dang unhappy endings get me everytime. Great style!

Jen

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2006-11-02 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
thank you. a happier ending is to come, it's just not coming as soon as i thought it was.

i'm glad you enjoyed it.

[identity profile] afteriwake.livejournal.com 2006-11-03 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
You wrote this so well. I started cringing at what Flack said because I could just see him going off like that in the situation you put them in. Great job.

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2006-11-03 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
thanks. i loved the way it turned out, but i hated writing it. using danny as an angst point rubs me the wrong way sometimes, but i really set my self up for this one. i'm just glad it turned out well.

[identity profile] myherodrowning.livejournal.com 2006-11-03 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
Dude, what a fucking downer. :|

This was written so well. Danny, he's always so emotional. I miss S1 Danny, the angry, emotionally overwrought, "It feels like I'm already being hung" Danny Messer. Where'd you go, I miss you so...

I hope that happy ending comes soon for Flack and Lindsay, but I guess meanwhile I'll have to go with the mending friendship of Flack and Danny. *le sigh*

Definitely adding this to my memories. kiss kiss.

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2006-11-03 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
thanks.

guh. i know this was depressing. and i thought i could get this to happily ever after by the time i finished my [livejournal.com profile] fivebyfiction claim, but it's not going to work...i'm going to have to find somewhere else to claim them now.

because i can't write anything without a claim table any more *headdesk*

[identity profile] myherodrowning.livejournal.com 2006-11-03 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
[livejournal.com profile] ficalbum
[livejournal.com profile] ficmix
[livejournal.com profile] philosophy_20
[livejournal.com profile] psych_30

Some challenge communities. I've claimed Flack/Lindsay at [livejournal.com profile] psych_30, though. It's a great community, though, so I'm sure you could find use for it for another pairing.

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2006-11-03 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
i claimed eric delko/erica sikes at [livejournal.com profile] psych_30 actually. it's slow coming but i'm working on it.

i'll look at the other ones though. thanks!

[identity profile] buffyangellvr23.livejournal.com 2006-11-03 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
I'm mostly D/L, but enjoyed the read anyway...the part right before the end was sad though, the Lindsay leaving indication.

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2006-11-03 12:11 pm (UTC)(link)
i know. writing this was depressing.

i'm glad you enjoyed it, though.
(deleted comment)

Re: Hey!!!

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2006-11-03 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
thank you!

yay! hearing i'm in character makes me happy.

[identity profile] misshigherpower.livejournal.com 2006-11-05 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I loved this. I'm a total Danny/Lindsay shipper, but I do like the idea of Flack/Lindsay. This was just so perfect. The fact that things don't always work out and that sometimes you have to swallow your pride and say "You know what? I screwed up and I know it." is so real. Awesome job.

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2006-11-06 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
thank you! i'm glad you enjoyed it.

[identity profile] adams-girl1.livejournal.com 2006-11-14 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
gah Lindsay why'd you have to leave?!

anyway... great job. :D

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2006-11-14 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
she came back!...eventually.

thanks! i'm glad you like em.

[identity profile] adams-girl1.livejournal.com 2006-11-14 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
dude I LOVE them!