Emily (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2006-10-26 06:03 pm
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2006-10-26 06:03 pm
Mac/Peyton - The Great Wall of Mac Taylor
Fandom: CSI:NY
Title: The Great Wall of Mac Taylor
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
iluvroadrunner6
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Mac Taylor/Peyton Driscoll
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
15pairings Prompt: what lies within
Content Warning: Spoilers for Season 3
Summary: Peyton tries to figure out how well she really does know Mac.
Author's Note: Heh. Two characters I don't know very well. This is from Peyton's POV mostly because I liked her ideas better for this.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS.
She watched him from the doorway of the bedroom as he got ready for bed, going through the motions. Watched him as he took off his watch, shrugged off his jacket, loosened the buttons on his shirt. He did the same thing every night. She knew his routine. She knew his habits. Hell, she even knew the way she liked his eggs. But did that say in any way that she knew Mac Taylor?
Not at all. Not a bit.
Underneath the surface, what really made Mac tick was something entirely different altogether, and she wasn’t sure that their relationship was ready to go that far yet. She wasn’t sure she was ready to go that far yet.
But what killed her about that statement was that they had been seeing each other for a year. A year’s a long time, and in all her past relationships, they had been far beyond this point by the time they had reached the year mark. She had never had trouble getting down to who a person was before, but getting inside Mac’s head was proving to be a bit of a challenge, and she was starting to feel more like a booty call than a girlfriend. And that didn’t make her comfortable in the slightest.
On the other hand, Mac Taylor wasn’t exactly known for his openness and accessibility. He was very shut off from the rest of the world, not like other men she had dated before. He was a wonderful man; that much she knew. She knew he had a good heart, and had reasons for shutting himself off from everything else. She wasn’t going to push to try and find her way into Mac’s head, because with everything he’s been through, she was pretty sure his head was a scary place to be. She knew he needed his space, and she was willing to give him back.
But isn’t a year of space enough? There was supposed to be a balance in a relationship. They were supposed to know each other equally, not have one person all figured out, and then have the other be a complete enigma. That wasn’t the way things were supposed to work. She knew that, and on some level he probably knew that too, but he also probably didn’t see that anything was wrong.
Being Mac Taylor, dense as he was, he probably figured that they were all on the same level.
He turned to her at this point, and gave her a small smile, “Hard day at work?”
Work. All he ever asked about was work. She was the one who had to change the subject, make it something less obviously important to him. Something less related to things that she couldn’t stand. She hated talking about work once she left the office, and he knew that. But she liked to think he did because he couldn’t think of anything else to say, but she wished that she could help him be less consumed by his job and relax a bit more. But that was harder that it should be.
“You could say that,” she murmured, giving him a small smile before moving over towards the edge of the bed. She knew that he knew her well enough to know that something was wrong, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to get into it quite yet, when she didn’t even know what the problem was. Yes, their relationship had it’s problems, but he still made her happy. He was a good man who treated her well. Knowing the inner complexities of your boyfriend wasn’t mandatory to a relationship.
Was it?
Was it really worth throwing away something good, something that seemed to make the both of them happy because she didn’t know anything about his family? Was it worth it because he wouldn’t open up to her about certain things that he wished she would have? Was it worth it because another woman knew him better than she did?
She wasn’t jealous of Stella. Not really. After all, she had Mac, and the other woman didn’t. That was saying something, wasn’t it? Stella had time to make a move, and she didn’t. Stella wasn’t a problem. And Claire wasn’t either, to an extent. Mac would talk with her about Claire sometimes, whenever the subject came across. He never went into grave detail, but it was something. There were other things he would never get into at all, and that was what made her uncomfortable. She would get into something that she probably wouldn’t have talked about with anyone else, but when the time came for him to do the same, he didn’t. He disassociated, shut down, and blocked her out, and that hurt probably more than anything else. That she could trust him with the things that really mattered to her, but he didn’t trust her.
“You OK?” he asked, giving her a funny look.
“I don’t know.”
He moved to her, starting to wrap his arms around her, but she involuntarily jerked away from him, hugging herself defensively. She didn’t want his comfort, she didn’t want his sympathy, she wanted it to be the other way around. She wanted him to be able to open up to her. She wanted him to talk to her about what was really bothering him, instead of giving her a somewhat shallower reason instead of getting to the deeper picture. She wanted the Great Wall of Mac Taylor to crack and let her in, even if just for a little while, and let her see the person that was really inside. She wanted him to see that the fact that he couldn’t do that was breaking her heart.
“Mac, I think I should go,” she replied.
“If you weren’t up to dinner tonight, you should have just said so,” he said softly, “I’ll take you home.” He placed his hand at the small of her back, leading her towards the door, and she jerked away from him again, still not sure why she was doing so. Suddenly his hands on her made her feel used, and she didn’t like that feeling.
“No, Mac,” she said slowly, “I think I should go.” She watched as it dawned on him what she was saying, and the look of confusion crossing his face. He thought things had been fine. Of course, he would think things were fine. Compared to his walls, Peyton was practically naked in front of him.
“Can I ask why?” he asked. It wasn’t a plea to stay; it wasn’t said in a state of shock. It was a question that was being used to gather information; make a connection. She closed her eyes and shook her head, knowing that it would never matter to him anyway.
“I’m tired of dating a man I don’t know,” she replied in a hushed whisper, before giving him a brief kiss on the cheek, and walking out the door.
Title: The Great Wall of Mac Taylor
Author:
iluvroadrunner6Rating: FRT
Pairing: Mac Taylor/Peyton Driscoll
15pairings Prompt: what lies withinContent Warning: Spoilers for Season 3
Summary: Peyton tries to figure out how well she really does know Mac.
Author's Note: Heh. Two characters I don't know very well. This is from Peyton's POV mostly because I liked her ideas better for this.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS.
She watched him from the doorway of the bedroom as he got ready for bed, going through the motions. Watched him as he took off his watch, shrugged off his jacket, loosened the buttons on his shirt. He did the same thing every night. She knew his routine. She knew his habits. Hell, she even knew the way she liked his eggs. But did that say in any way that she knew Mac Taylor?
Not at all. Not a bit.
Underneath the surface, what really made Mac tick was something entirely different altogether, and she wasn’t sure that their relationship was ready to go that far yet. She wasn’t sure she was ready to go that far yet.
But what killed her about that statement was that they had been seeing each other for a year. A year’s a long time, and in all her past relationships, they had been far beyond this point by the time they had reached the year mark. She had never had trouble getting down to who a person was before, but getting inside Mac’s head was proving to be a bit of a challenge, and she was starting to feel more like a booty call than a girlfriend. And that didn’t make her comfortable in the slightest.
On the other hand, Mac Taylor wasn’t exactly known for his openness and accessibility. He was very shut off from the rest of the world, not like other men she had dated before. He was a wonderful man; that much she knew. She knew he had a good heart, and had reasons for shutting himself off from everything else. She wasn’t going to push to try and find her way into Mac’s head, because with everything he’s been through, she was pretty sure his head was a scary place to be. She knew he needed his space, and she was willing to give him back.
But isn’t a year of space enough? There was supposed to be a balance in a relationship. They were supposed to know each other equally, not have one person all figured out, and then have the other be a complete enigma. That wasn’t the way things were supposed to work. She knew that, and on some level he probably knew that too, but he also probably didn’t see that anything was wrong.
Being Mac Taylor, dense as he was, he probably figured that they were all on the same level.
He turned to her at this point, and gave her a small smile, “Hard day at work?”
Work. All he ever asked about was work. She was the one who had to change the subject, make it something less obviously important to him. Something less related to things that she couldn’t stand. She hated talking about work once she left the office, and he knew that. But she liked to think he did because he couldn’t think of anything else to say, but she wished that she could help him be less consumed by his job and relax a bit more. But that was harder that it should be.
“You could say that,” she murmured, giving him a small smile before moving over towards the edge of the bed. She knew that he knew her well enough to know that something was wrong, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to get into it quite yet, when she didn’t even know what the problem was. Yes, their relationship had it’s problems, but he still made her happy. He was a good man who treated her well. Knowing the inner complexities of your boyfriend wasn’t mandatory to a relationship.
Was it?
Was it really worth throwing away something good, something that seemed to make the both of them happy because she didn’t know anything about his family? Was it worth it because he wouldn’t open up to her about certain things that he wished she would have? Was it worth it because another woman knew him better than she did?
She wasn’t jealous of Stella. Not really. After all, she had Mac, and the other woman didn’t. That was saying something, wasn’t it? Stella had time to make a move, and she didn’t. Stella wasn’t a problem. And Claire wasn’t either, to an extent. Mac would talk with her about Claire sometimes, whenever the subject came across. He never went into grave detail, but it was something. There were other things he would never get into at all, and that was what made her uncomfortable. She would get into something that she probably wouldn’t have talked about with anyone else, but when the time came for him to do the same, he didn’t. He disassociated, shut down, and blocked her out, and that hurt probably more than anything else. That she could trust him with the things that really mattered to her, but he didn’t trust her.
“You OK?” he asked, giving her a funny look.
“I don’t know.”
He moved to her, starting to wrap his arms around her, but she involuntarily jerked away from him, hugging herself defensively. She didn’t want his comfort, she didn’t want his sympathy, she wanted it to be the other way around. She wanted him to be able to open up to her. She wanted him to talk to her about what was really bothering him, instead of giving her a somewhat shallower reason instead of getting to the deeper picture. She wanted the Great Wall of Mac Taylor to crack and let her in, even if just for a little while, and let her see the person that was really inside. She wanted him to see that the fact that he couldn’t do that was breaking her heart.
“Mac, I think I should go,” she replied.
“If you weren’t up to dinner tonight, you should have just said so,” he said softly, “I’ll take you home.” He placed his hand at the small of her back, leading her towards the door, and she jerked away from him again, still not sure why she was doing so. Suddenly his hands on her made her feel used, and she didn’t like that feeling.
“No, Mac,” she said slowly, “I think I should go.” She watched as it dawned on him what she was saying, and the look of confusion crossing his face. He thought things had been fine. Of course, he would think things were fine. Compared to his walls, Peyton was practically naked in front of him.
“Can I ask why?” he asked. It wasn’t a plea to stay; it wasn’t said in a state of shock. It was a question that was being used to gather information; make a connection. She closed her eyes and shook her head, knowing that it would never matter to him anyway.
“I’m tired of dating a man I don’t know,” she replied in a hushed whisper, before giving him a brief kiss on the cheek, and walking out the door.
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i, personally, think that title was a stroke of genius on my part. *sees ego grow* i have never been that happy with a title in my life.
we don't really know that much about peyton either, except for the fact that she's a coroner and she's dating mac. this also kind of represented how frustrated i currently am, as a writer, with mac taylor. it's so hard for me to get into his head, so i don't write him often, and since we know so little about peyton (and this was the impression the scenes with them in it gave us) and he doesn't let her in much either, this was basically (kind of) me venting.
but i'm glad i nailed mac! thank you.
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Very good job honey. I knew you could do it! ♥
Your figurin' out MY macky!
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and i'm glad you liked it.
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