Caitlin remembers this kind give and take built in fear.
Her mother rules her home life with an iron fist built of cruel words. While she would never physically strike Caitlin for any reason, her words do the job well enough. Caitlin copes by exceeding expectations, making sure her appearance was always perfect, her speech impeccable, soft spoken and non-confrontational – it becomes a situation she knows all too well how to survive.
If Caitlin’s cold, she learns it from her mother, and she knows it. She breaks away after she gets the job at STAR Labs, meets Ronnie, builds a life that wasn’t about constantly raising the bar and exceeding what was expected of her. She had thought, before Jay (Hunter, it’s Hunter now), before Zoom, that she didn’t have to cow to anyone’s expectations anymore. Unfortunately, however, the moment she sets foot in Zoom’s prison, the same coping mechanisms come into play again.
It’s a very delicate balance, this dance between the two of them. Caitlin refuses to cower, to be fearful, to make him think he’s any more superior to her than he already is, but she also doesn’t confront him, not in the way she should. Cisco would mouth off to him, up until the point it gets him in trouble. Barry would try to reason with him or fight him – she isn’t entirely sure which, though … Barry doesn’t really have his speed anymore, does he?
“You should eat.” His voice is demanding, insistent, and she eats because she has to, in order to survive, and she doesn’t want to make him angry.
“You can’t keep me here forever,” she reminds him, and he doesn’t seem all that convinced. Even if what she says is the truth, he’s too deluded by his own power to see otherwise.
Zoom thinks that she will come to love him, and she lets him believe it. Zoom thinks that with time, her feelings will return, and she lets him believe that too. What he doesn’t know is that her feelings for him, for Jay, never really went away. She knows enough about emotions to know that they don’t go away that easily, but instead of making her feel warm and hopeful, they’ve twisted in on themselves like daggers jabbing at her insides. It isn’t just attraction anymore, now there also comes shame and guilt for not seeing what she was supposed to see in the first place.
“You’ll love me again,” he says as he forces the tray of food at her, expecting her to eat and implying all of the consequences that come if she doesn’t do as he says. “You’ll see that I’m still the same. What we had was real.”
It isn’t that she disbelieves him. She knows that this is real – it wouldn’t hurt this much if it wasn’t – but she needs to believe that she is stronger than he believes her to be. She needs to hope that she’ll find a way to get out of this.
She can’t be afraid anymore. Or maybe she simply needs to be brave. The one thing she does know, however, is that the status quo isn’t going to work for her this time around.
This time, she has to do more than just dodge the blows – she has to fight them.
won't you stop and remember me ~ the flash ~ 553 words
Her mother rules her home life with an iron fist built of cruel words. While she would never physically strike Caitlin for any reason, her words do the job well enough. Caitlin copes by exceeding expectations, making sure her appearance was always perfect, her speech impeccable, soft spoken and non-confrontational – it becomes a situation she knows all too well how to survive.
If Caitlin’s cold, she learns it from her mother, and she knows it. She breaks away after she gets the job at STAR Labs, meets Ronnie, builds a life that wasn’t about constantly raising the bar and exceeding what was expected of her. She had thought, before Jay (Hunter, it’s Hunter now), before Zoom, that she didn’t have to cow to anyone’s expectations anymore. Unfortunately, however, the moment she sets foot in Zoom’s prison, the same coping mechanisms come into play again.
It’s a very delicate balance, this dance between the two of them. Caitlin refuses to cower, to be fearful, to make him think he’s any more superior to her than he already is, but she also doesn’t confront him, not in the way she should. Cisco would mouth off to him, up until the point it gets him in trouble. Barry would try to reason with him or fight him – she isn’t entirely sure which, though … Barry doesn’t really have his speed anymore, does he?
“You should eat.” His voice is demanding, insistent, and she eats because she has to, in order to survive, and she doesn’t want to make him angry.
“You can’t keep me here forever,” she reminds him, and he doesn’t seem all that convinced. Even if what she says is the truth, he’s too deluded by his own power to see otherwise.
Zoom thinks that she will come to love him, and she lets him believe it. Zoom thinks that with time, her feelings will return, and she lets him believe that too. What he doesn’t know is that her feelings for him, for Jay, never really went away. She knows enough about emotions to know that they don’t go away that easily, but instead of making her feel warm and hopeful, they’ve twisted in on themselves like daggers jabbing at her insides. It isn’t just attraction anymore, now there also comes shame and guilt for not seeing what she was supposed to see in the first place.
“You’ll love me again,” he says as he forces the tray of food at her, expecting her to eat and implying all of the consequences that come if she doesn’t do as he says. “You’ll see that I’m still the same. What we had was real.”
It isn’t that she disbelieves him. She knows that this is real – it wouldn’t hurt this much if it wasn’t – but she needs to believe that she is stronger than he believes her to be. She needs to hope that she’ll find a way to get out of this.
She can’t be afraid anymore. Or maybe she simply needs to be brave. The one thing she does know, however, is that the status quo isn’t going to work for her this time around.
This time, she has to do more than just dodge the blows – she has to fight them.