Emily (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2008-07-19 11:33 pm
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2008-07-19 11:33 pm
Flack/Anna - Silent Lucidity
Fandom: CSI:NY
Title: Silent Lucidity
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
iluvroadrunner6
Rating: FRT
Characters: Don Flack/Anna Morasca
Content Warning: N/A
Summary: They both had seen this coming.
Author's Note: Happy (belated) birthday,toxic_shadow! A bit angstier than I intended for a birthday present, but I'll come up with something a bit fluffier later. Based on a roleplay relationship between my Flack and her Anna (vivo_per_ardua). Also, I've never written Anna before, so any OOC-ness is totally my fault.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by the CBS. Anna is owned bytoxic_shadow. However, any and all original characters are mine, so please do not use them without my permission.
"Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious." -George Bernard Shaw
“So what do you want me to do?”
It seemed like he asked that question more than he should have, but this time was different. This time, he was sensing a bit of finality in the way she was talking to him. Almost as though there was an ultimatum coming at the end of that. He wasn’t sure of he was reading her right, or even if he knew what was really going on. Anna was tricky that way—it was hard to tell what she was thinking even when it was written on her face.
“I—I don’t know, Don,” she said with a sigh. She looked down, her bangs falling in her face as she did. He didn’t know what to say around her. He never did and that was something that bugged him more than he’d care to admit. He didn’t like not having words, and the fact that they just didn’t have time to see each other a lot of the time, and so he wasn’t really getting a chance to learn. Things were rough. They always had been, and he didn’t know if he could keep doing rough much longer.
And there was also the difference in where things were going with them. He knew that commitment, et cetera wasn’t necessarily a problem, per say. But he knew that they had different directions with what they wanted, and he was starting to feel the need to start heading in his. He didn’t want to hurt her. In fact, that was the last thing that he intended to do. But he also felt like this might be the best point for them to go their separate ways, before things got more complicated than they already were.
Now it was just a matter of saying it.
“We shouldn’t keep having conversations like this,” he said quietly, his eyes falling to his hands. “Where I ask you what I should do—I should just know.”
“I know,” she sighed, her voice just as quiet. She knew. He could hear it in her voice, and she didn’t want to believe it, but that’s what was happening, and they were going to have to deal with it, one way or another. He wasn’t happy about it, and he probably never would be, especially when it came to ending things on this note, but it was what needed to be done. And somewhere, deep down, they both knew it.
He hesitated for a minute, wondering if the words actually needed to be said, or if this was just where they were going go their separate ways here—that it was just going to be acknowledged by both, and nothing more. He looked up at her, studying her face for some kind of answer that he thought at first he wasn’t going to find, but he could see it there, written on her face. She knew—she’d seen it coming. There weren’t really words that he had to say.
He pushed himself up, and started to head towards the door, sighing slightly as he did. “I should go. I’ll—I’ll see you at work, alright?” He turned to go, feeling her watch him leave as he did, and hoping that it would be easier on her than he felt in the pit of his stomach that it was going to be.
“Don.” He froze when she spoke, hearing the desperation in her voice as she did. He didn’t want to hear it, but he did, and it just made the feeling in the pit of his stomach even worse. “Is there anything—I mean—is there something I can do? I’ll do it. I will.”
He turned back and looked at her. He hoped she could see it on his face that there really wasn’t much more she could do. This was the end of it—the end that had been coming for a very long time.
“Anna—”
“Just—answer me this,” she sighed quietly, looking up at him again and brushing the hair out of her face. “Was it worth it?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Was everything we went through for this worth it?” she asked again quietly, before looking down at her hands again. “Was I worth it?”
He wasn’t sure how to answer her at first. He swallowed as he thought, reaching up to rub a hand over the back of his neck before sighing and speaking again. “It’s certainly better than having it never happen at all.”
“Even though we can’t seem to—” Her voice trailed off, but he could finish the sentence. He knew what she was saying.
“It was worth it, Anna. It was definitely worth it.”
Title: Silent Lucidity
Author:
iluvroadrunner6Rating: FRT
Characters: Don Flack/Anna Morasca
Content Warning: N/A
Summary: They both had seen this coming.
Author's Note: Happy (belated) birthday,
toxic_shadow! A bit angstier than I intended for a birthday present, but I'll come up with something a bit fluffier later. Based on a roleplay relationship between my Flack and her Anna (vivo_per_ardua). Also, I've never written Anna before, so any OOC-ness is totally my fault.Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by the CBS. Anna is owned by
toxic_shadow. However, any and all original characters are mine, so please do not use them without my permission."Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious." -George Bernard Shaw
“So what do you want me to do?”
It seemed like he asked that question more than he should have, but this time was different. This time, he was sensing a bit of finality in the way she was talking to him. Almost as though there was an ultimatum coming at the end of that. He wasn’t sure of he was reading her right, or even if he knew what was really going on. Anna was tricky that way—it was hard to tell what she was thinking even when it was written on her face.
“I—I don’t know, Don,” she said with a sigh. She looked down, her bangs falling in her face as she did. He didn’t know what to say around her. He never did and that was something that bugged him more than he’d care to admit. He didn’t like not having words, and the fact that they just didn’t have time to see each other a lot of the time, and so he wasn’t really getting a chance to learn. Things were rough. They always had been, and he didn’t know if he could keep doing rough much longer.
And there was also the difference in where things were going with them. He knew that commitment, et cetera wasn’t necessarily a problem, per say. But he knew that they had different directions with what they wanted, and he was starting to feel the need to start heading in his. He didn’t want to hurt her. In fact, that was the last thing that he intended to do. But he also felt like this might be the best point for them to go their separate ways, before things got more complicated than they already were.
Now it was just a matter of saying it.
“We shouldn’t keep having conversations like this,” he said quietly, his eyes falling to his hands. “Where I ask you what I should do—I should just know.”
“I know,” she sighed, her voice just as quiet. She knew. He could hear it in her voice, and she didn’t want to believe it, but that’s what was happening, and they were going to have to deal with it, one way or another. He wasn’t happy about it, and he probably never would be, especially when it came to ending things on this note, but it was what needed to be done. And somewhere, deep down, they both knew it.
He hesitated for a minute, wondering if the words actually needed to be said, or if this was just where they were going go their separate ways here—that it was just going to be acknowledged by both, and nothing more. He looked up at her, studying her face for some kind of answer that he thought at first he wasn’t going to find, but he could see it there, written on her face. She knew—she’d seen it coming. There weren’t really words that he had to say.
He pushed himself up, and started to head towards the door, sighing slightly as he did. “I should go. I’ll—I’ll see you at work, alright?” He turned to go, feeling her watch him leave as he did, and hoping that it would be easier on her than he felt in the pit of his stomach that it was going to be.
“Don.” He froze when she spoke, hearing the desperation in her voice as she did. He didn’t want to hear it, but he did, and it just made the feeling in the pit of his stomach even worse. “Is there anything—I mean—is there something I can do? I’ll do it. I will.”
He turned back and looked at her. He hoped she could see it on his face that there really wasn’t much more she could do. This was the end of it—the end that had been coming for a very long time.
“Anna—”
“Just—answer me this,” she sighed quietly, looking up at him again and brushing the hair out of her face. “Was it worth it?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Was everything we went through for this worth it?” she asked again quietly, before looking down at her hands again. “Was I worth it?”
He wasn’t sure how to answer her at first. He swallowed as he thought, reaching up to rub a hand over the back of his neck before sighing and speaking again. “It’s certainly better than having it never happen at all.”
“Even though we can’t seem to—” Her voice trailed off, but he could finish the sentence. He knew what she was saying.
“It was worth it, Anna. It was definitely worth it.”