iluvroadrunner6: (flack)
Emily ([personal profile] iluvroadrunner6) wrote2007-12-17 09:24 am

Flack - Keeps You Up at Night

Fandom: CSI:NY
Title: Keeps You Up at Night
Author: [livejournal.com profile] iluvroadrunner6
Rating: FRT
Characters: Don Flack
[livejournal.com profile] csi50 Prompt: 030. Night
[livejournal.com profile] theatrical_muse Prompt: Topic #209
Content Warning: Spoilers for 111: The Fall, 202: Grand Murder in Central Station, and 308: Consequences.
Summary: Flack's biggest fear.
Author's Note: First person, not long.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS. However, any and all original characters are mine, so please do not use them without my permission.



It’s every cop’s job to do whatever they can in their power to get the guy. That’s the job from Day 1. You are there to protect and serve, no matter what the outcome is for you. If you die, but you did what you needed to do to make sure that guy didn’t hurt anyone else, then you did your job, and you’re a hero. There are rules you need to follow, and while some of the rules can be bent slightly and some can’t, they’re there, and rules are there for a reason.

It’s been drummed into me since I was old enough to know what it meant. My dad—he expected me and my brother to follow in his footsteps. Join the family business, so to speak. He expected both of us to become decorated hero cops just like he was so he drummed it into us from Day 1. You follow the rules. You keep your nose clean. But other than that, you do whatever you have to do to get the job done. The victims you don’t get the job done for? They’ll keep you awake at night. And if they don’t, you shouldn’t be the one doing this job.

Naturally, my brother scoffed at the idea, but then again, he wasn’t the one to join the force—I was. And I did as I was told. I followed the rules, day in and day out, and I’m still doing it. The job’s, the job, after all.

So, basically, what I’m afraid of? That’ll get pushed too far, and I’ll break a rule. Like Gavin broke a rule. Or Aiden broke a rule. I know where the lines are, and I know how to stay inside them. But I’m worried that eventually there’s going to be that one case where I forget where the lines are—or even worse than forgetting, I know they’re there, but I ignore them anyway. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I went dirty and if (heaven forbid) it ever happens, and I do actually think what I did was right? Then I deserve to get shipped up to Riker’s. I don’t want to be one of those guys, but I’m afraid that push comes to shove I may be. I’m only human after all.

I’ve seen it happen to too many people, and I don’t want to be one of them.

[identity profile] afteriwake.livejournal.com 2007-12-17 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
This was a really good glimpse into that part of a cop's job, and it was even better that it came out through Flack. Nice job.

[identity profile] iluvroadrunner6.livejournal.com 2007-12-17 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.