Emily (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2007-03-02 04:44 pm
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2007-03-02 04:44 pm
Flack/Lindsay - Things Worth Saying
my brain has just been bleeeeeehhhhh this week. literally. so this is very short. but i like it, and i love this song. that is all.
Fandom: CSI:NY
Title: Things Worth Saying
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
iluvroadrunner6
Rating: FRT
Characters: Don Flack/Lindsay Monroe, Stella Bonasera
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
ficalbum Prompt: "Land of a Thousand Words" - Scissor Sisters
Content Warning: N/A
Summary: Lindsay wonders if its worth trying to explain.
Author's Note: Back to the angst again. But it's short angst. Not long, drawn out angst.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS.
This is the land of a thousand words
But it seems so few are worth the breath to say
Except I'll be looking after my own world
And you just keep on saving the day
I'll try to stay but it's in vain when you're far
I'm on the run to wherever you are
- “Land of a Thousand Words” – Scissor Sisters
She was watching him at his desk while she was waiting for Stella to be ready for dinner. He didn’t know she was there; if he did, he probably wouldn’t still be working there. He had never liked it when she watched him, and he especially wouldn’t be a fan of it now, considering that things between them were—rocky. And rocky might not even be the word she wanted to use. Because ‘rocky’ usually described a relationship that was already in existence, and they didn’t even have that anymore. They just had the pseudo-thing that could be a relationship and used to be a relationship, but wasn’t either, all at the same time.
She knew they probably needed to talk. And she knew that she probably should do it before she went back to Montana, and not after, but she was too hurt to actually put those words into motion herself. And she knew it wasn’t because he had hurt her—he was the last person in the world who would have, and she knew it—it was because she was so torn about what she wanted to do. Her heart was saying stay in New York, but her head was saying go back home to Montana, and she didn’t know which one she wanted to listen to more. Because she knew she had responsibilities back home, but she also knew those burdens shouldn’t have been laid on her in the first place.
“Why can’t you take care of him?” Lindsay had asked, hearing the heavy sigh from her sister’s end of the phone, “You’re the one out there, Mary, not me.”
“I have a family to care for, Lindsay,” Mary replied, “It’s not like I can afford to take on another dependent right now.”
“Mary—”
“Look, I understand that you have this big fancy life out in New York, but this is your family. You come home and help me.”
It wasn’t fair. Mary had been much closer at the time, and she was more than capable of taking care of their father. She and Lindsay had always had a stilted relationship like this, and while Lindsay knew her coming home was an option, she didn’t see how it was the only one. And it was the one that cost her the most, as well. She didn’t want to go back to Bozeman. But in the end she did. She picked up, left her life behind, and went back to the place she hated most. The one she avoided with the exception of major holidays and other family obligations. She went because her father needed her to. Or at least, that was what Mary told her.
She wondered if her father could see it, how miserable she was. She wondered if Don could. She wondered if he knew if that night with him was the happiest she had been in a long time, and how she would happily run away from whatever was back there to stay here, in New York, if there were no consequences on the other end. She couldn’t abandon her family. She wouldn’t ask the same of him, and she knew he wasn’t asking that of her, not really, he just didn’t understand. And they both had the words to change this. If she just sat and talked to him maybe, maybe then he would understand, and things would be OK again. But was making him understand really worth trying when she was just going to leave again. She didn’t want to hurt him any more than he wanted to hurt her.
Things were better like this. They could move on like this.
“Lindsay?” Stella’s voice said. Lindsay turned around and Stella gave her a smile, “Ready to go?”
“Yeah,” Lindsay nodded, starting to walk towards her, “Yeah, let’s go.”
Fandom: CSI:NY
Title: Things Worth Saying
Author:
iluvroadrunner6Rating: FRT
Characters: Don Flack/Lindsay Monroe, Stella Bonasera
ficalbum Prompt: "Land of a Thousand Words" - Scissor SistersContent Warning: N/A
Summary: Lindsay wonders if its worth trying to explain.
Author's Note: Back to the angst again. But it's short angst. Not long, drawn out angst.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY. They're owned by CBS.
This is the land of a thousand words
But it seems so few are worth the breath to say
Except I'll be looking after my own world
And you just keep on saving the day
I'll try to stay but it's in vain when you're far
I'm on the run to wherever you are
- “Land of a Thousand Words” – Scissor Sisters
She was watching him at his desk while she was waiting for Stella to be ready for dinner. He didn’t know she was there; if he did, he probably wouldn’t still be working there. He had never liked it when she watched him, and he especially wouldn’t be a fan of it now, considering that things between them were—rocky. And rocky might not even be the word she wanted to use. Because ‘rocky’ usually described a relationship that was already in existence, and they didn’t even have that anymore. They just had the pseudo-thing that could be a relationship and used to be a relationship, but wasn’t either, all at the same time.
She knew they probably needed to talk. And she knew that she probably should do it before she went back to Montana, and not after, but she was too hurt to actually put those words into motion herself. And she knew it wasn’t because he had hurt her—he was the last person in the world who would have, and she knew it—it was because she was so torn about what she wanted to do. Her heart was saying stay in New York, but her head was saying go back home to Montana, and she didn’t know which one she wanted to listen to more. Because she knew she had responsibilities back home, but she also knew those burdens shouldn’t have been laid on her in the first place.
“Why can’t you take care of him?” Lindsay had asked, hearing the heavy sigh from her sister’s end of the phone, “You’re the one out there, Mary, not me.”
“I have a family to care for, Lindsay,” Mary replied, “It’s not like I can afford to take on another dependent right now.”
“Mary—”
“Look, I understand that you have this big fancy life out in New York, but this is your family. You come home and help me.”
It wasn’t fair. Mary had been much closer at the time, and she was more than capable of taking care of their father. She and Lindsay had always had a stilted relationship like this, and while Lindsay knew her coming home was an option, she didn’t see how it was the only one. And it was the one that cost her the most, as well. She didn’t want to go back to Bozeman. But in the end she did. She picked up, left her life behind, and went back to the place she hated most. The one she avoided with the exception of major holidays and other family obligations. She went because her father needed her to. Or at least, that was what Mary told her.
She wondered if her father could see it, how miserable she was. She wondered if Don could. She wondered if he knew if that night with him was the happiest she had been in a long time, and how she would happily run away from whatever was back there to stay here, in New York, if there were no consequences on the other end. She couldn’t abandon her family. She wouldn’t ask the same of him, and she knew he wasn’t asking that of her, not really, he just didn’t understand. And they both had the words to change this. If she just sat and talked to him maybe, maybe then he would understand, and things would be OK again. But was making him understand really worth trying when she was just going to leave again. She didn’t want to hurt him any more than he wanted to hurt her.
Things were better like this. They could move on like this.
“Lindsay?” Stella’s voice said. Lindsay turned around and Stella gave her a smile, “Ready to go?”
“Yeah,” Lindsay nodded, starting to walk towards her, “Yeah, let’s go.”
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
i'm glad you liked it.
no subject
i'm glad you liked it.
no subject
i'm glad you liked it.
no subject
"She wouldn’t ask the same of him, and she knew he wasn’t asking that of her, not really, he just didn’t understand. And they both had the words to change this. If she just sat and talked to him maybe, maybe then he would understand, and things would be OK again. But was making him understand really worth trying when she was just going to leave again."
I loved this part. It totally explains why they haven't discussed their feelings even though they need to.
no subject
i'm glad you liked it.
Re: Awe!!!