Emily (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2007-01-31 02:02 pm
iluvroadrunner6) wrote2007-01-31 02:02 pm
House - A Walk in the Park
Fandom: House MD
Title: A Walk in the Park
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
iluvroadrunner6
Rating: FRT
Characters: Gregory House, James Wilson, various children, unnamed OFC
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
house_fest Prompt: 24. House spends the day in a park. Life revaluations/sudden epiphanies optional.
Content Warning: N/A
Summary: House tags along with Wilson while he's babysitting, and finds himself being tugged into an unlikely conversation.
Author's Note: Any constructive criticism on writing House would be very much appreciated. Because I can write snark, but I struggle with mean snark, so if House is OOC, please tell me, and (nicely) give me ways to improve. He's the one character whose POV always gives me trouble.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of House MD. They're owned by Fox.
He hated fresh air.
There’s nothing fresh about it. Mankind has polluted the world so much that the air is no longer fresh. It’s more—semi-fresh. And semi-fresh air is not what you need to maintain a healthy lifestyle. He was better off breathing the processed air that came through his ventilation system. But was he?
No.
No, instead he was sitting on a bench in a playground watching Wilson run after a kid who wasn’t even his own, attempting to try and be a father figure for the poor child. House knew it was all a ploy for his friend to get laid in the end, even though Wilson was going to vehemently deny it later, he had seen the way that the man had flirted with the mother when they had picked the little urchin up. And while for the first fifteen minutes or so, watching Wilson run after the child was amusing, now, almost an hour later, it was just getting old. He knew he was more than capable of just leaving, but that would defeat the purpose of forcing Wilson to listen to him complain all the way back to Wilson’s apartment. Why would he pass up an opportunity like that?
His eyes rose to scan the area and he spotted a tall, dark haired woman being yanked around by two boys. From the looks of them they seemed to be identical twins, but House really couldn’t tell from this distance. He was just about to look away when the woman pulled the boys to a stop, and then looked up, making direct eye contact with him.
Damnit.
“Hey—listen to me,” she said, getting the two of them to look at her, “You guys go play, I’m going to be sitting over there by the nice man with the cane.” House rolled his eyes, before watching as the boys released the woman, whom he could only assume was their mother, and then bolted onto the playground. The woman then took a deep breath before heading over and plopping down next to House.
“They’re little monsters, aren’t they?” she said with a smirk, and he grinned slightly.
“The terrors of the earth,” he replied, “Too stupid to get around without someone to coddle them the whole way.”
“Tell me about it,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest, “So which one’s yours?”
House laughed slightly, before shaking his head, “The one in the suit.”
She frowned, confused for a moment, before spotting Wilson, just as the child he was trying to engage pushed him into a puddle of mud behind him, to both House’s and the little runt’s amusement. The woman laughed slightly, before shaking her head.
“He is either the biggest absentee father ever, or so just trying to get laid,” she sighed.
“He’s trying to get laid,” House replied.
“That’s what I thought,” she smirked.
“I bet you encounter that a lot with your two,” he said, nodding towards the two boys who had engaged themselves in an active sand war, “Men who want to hang out with your kids just to get in your pants.”
“What?” she said, looking at him in shock, “Oh, honey, those aren’t mine. They’re my sister’s kids.”
“But you don’t use them to your advantage?”
“Please. Either they’re trying to get in my pants, or—knowing today’s society—trying to get in the kids pants. Men that genuinely want to hang out with another man’s kids, and aren’t thinking impure thoughts? Don’t exist.”
“That’s a pretty skeptical view of the world,” House commented.
“You were thinking it,” she accused and he shrugged.
“Maybe. So their your sister’s kids? Men try and get in her pants?”
“All the time,” she replied, “But she’s not interested. She’s happily married.”
“No such thing.”
“I thought so too, but I guess you have to see the two of them to believe it.”
“Someone’s cheating on someone.”
“Nope,” she sighed, “They are completely, faithfully, sappily, sickeningly in love. Soap opera in love.”
“Relationships on soap operas don’t last.”
“They always get back together in the end.”
“Whatever,” House rolled his eyes, “I still maintain there’s no such thing as happily ever after. Not in this world.”
“Maybe not in your world,” she sighed, “But it does in theirs.”
House fell silent for a moment, watching as instead of pushing Wilson on the mud, but demon child in question had taken to throwing it at the helpless man, and Wilson had given up on trying to dissuade him, and was just sitting there and taking it. Some how, the woman’s two boys had discovered this new fun game as well, and now Wilson was being bombarded from three sides with handfuls of mud. This elicited a chuckle out of the woman, before turning back to House.
“So—we’ve covered your opinions on children, men, marriage. Only one thing left.”
“What’s that?” House asked, wondering if he really wanted to know.
“How do you feel about porn?”
Title: A Walk in the Park
Author:
iluvroadrunner6Rating: FRT
Characters: Gregory House, James Wilson, various children, unnamed OFC
house_fest Prompt: 24. House spends the day in a park. Life revaluations/sudden epiphanies optional. Content Warning: N/A
Summary: House tags along with Wilson while he's babysitting, and finds himself being tugged into an unlikely conversation.
Author's Note: Any constructive criticism on writing House would be very much appreciated. Because I can write snark, but I struggle with mean snark, so if House is OOC, please tell me, and (nicely) give me ways to improve. He's the one character whose POV always gives me trouble.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of House MD. They're owned by Fox.
He hated fresh air.
There’s nothing fresh about it. Mankind has polluted the world so much that the air is no longer fresh. It’s more—semi-fresh. And semi-fresh air is not what you need to maintain a healthy lifestyle. He was better off breathing the processed air that came through his ventilation system. But was he?
No.
No, instead he was sitting on a bench in a playground watching Wilson run after a kid who wasn’t even his own, attempting to try and be a father figure for the poor child. House knew it was all a ploy for his friend to get laid in the end, even though Wilson was going to vehemently deny it later, he had seen the way that the man had flirted with the mother when they had picked the little urchin up. And while for the first fifteen minutes or so, watching Wilson run after the child was amusing, now, almost an hour later, it was just getting old. He knew he was more than capable of just leaving, but that would defeat the purpose of forcing Wilson to listen to him complain all the way back to Wilson’s apartment. Why would he pass up an opportunity like that?
His eyes rose to scan the area and he spotted a tall, dark haired woman being yanked around by two boys. From the looks of them they seemed to be identical twins, but House really couldn’t tell from this distance. He was just about to look away when the woman pulled the boys to a stop, and then looked up, making direct eye contact with him.
Damnit.
“Hey—listen to me,” she said, getting the two of them to look at her, “You guys go play, I’m going to be sitting over there by the nice man with the cane.” House rolled his eyes, before watching as the boys released the woman, whom he could only assume was their mother, and then bolted onto the playground. The woman then took a deep breath before heading over and plopping down next to House.
“They’re little monsters, aren’t they?” she said with a smirk, and he grinned slightly.
“The terrors of the earth,” he replied, “Too stupid to get around without someone to coddle them the whole way.”
“Tell me about it,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest, “So which one’s yours?”
House laughed slightly, before shaking his head, “The one in the suit.”
She frowned, confused for a moment, before spotting Wilson, just as the child he was trying to engage pushed him into a puddle of mud behind him, to both House’s and the little runt’s amusement. The woman laughed slightly, before shaking her head.
“He is either the biggest absentee father ever, or so just trying to get laid,” she sighed.
“He’s trying to get laid,” House replied.
“That’s what I thought,” she smirked.
“I bet you encounter that a lot with your two,” he said, nodding towards the two boys who had engaged themselves in an active sand war, “Men who want to hang out with your kids just to get in your pants.”
“What?” she said, looking at him in shock, “Oh, honey, those aren’t mine. They’re my sister’s kids.”
“But you don’t use them to your advantage?”
“Please. Either they’re trying to get in my pants, or—knowing today’s society—trying to get in the kids pants. Men that genuinely want to hang out with another man’s kids, and aren’t thinking impure thoughts? Don’t exist.”
“That’s a pretty skeptical view of the world,” House commented.
“You were thinking it,” she accused and he shrugged.
“Maybe. So their your sister’s kids? Men try and get in her pants?”
“All the time,” she replied, “But she’s not interested. She’s happily married.”
“No such thing.”
“I thought so too, but I guess you have to see the two of them to believe it.”
“Someone’s cheating on someone.”
“Nope,” she sighed, “They are completely, faithfully, sappily, sickeningly in love. Soap opera in love.”
“Relationships on soap operas don’t last.”
“They always get back together in the end.”
“Whatever,” House rolled his eyes, “I still maintain there’s no such thing as happily ever after. Not in this world.”
“Maybe not in your world,” she sighed, “But it does in theirs.”
House fell silent for a moment, watching as instead of pushing Wilson on the mud, but demon child in question had taken to throwing it at the helpless man, and Wilson had given up on trying to dissuade him, and was just sitting there and taking it. Some how, the woman’s two boys had discovered this new fun game as well, and now Wilson was being bombarded from three sides with handfuls of mud. This elicited a chuckle out of the woman, before turning back to House.
“So—we’ve covered your opinions on children, men, marriage. Only one thing left.”
“What’s that?” House asked, wondering if he really wanted to know.
“How do you feel about porn?”